One room affair

This man and his woman and their son lived in a one room
so they would make up the boys bed under their bed in order to gwaan with a thing
so one nite when them turn off lights and all and believe the boy sleeping him wasn't so things start gwaan
so the woman when it sweet her said
mi a cum and the man say yyyess mi a cum tu
so the little buoy bawl out
"and mi a cum to because me one nah stay inna the dark"

NO speaky english

This chiney man had a restaurant. He was a good cook but did not know much English. So customers had to use sign language to tell him what they wanted.
This day two women went to the restaurant. One nice ting, and a ragga muffin.
The nice ting wanted some jerk so she shook her hips and the chinaman said " jerky you want jerky". Sold her some jerk food and she went her way.
Ragga muffin she wanted saltfish but was not sure how to express it. Finally she pointed down at her fish. The chinaman shook his head and said " sour porky.. me no hav none a dat"

Master Destroyer

Hubby was a hard working man and gave his wife all she wanted.
One day she said she was bored and needed a pet.
So being the good busband, hubby ventured to pet store to get her a pet.
Pet owner had this dog called master destroyer and told the husband it was the perfect pet to get.
Hubby said to the store owner prove it.
Pet owner called the dog and said master destroyer get me the paper. The dog ran and fetched a paper and came back with it.
Husband asked if that was all the dog could do.So pet owner said to the dog "master destroyer gorip up that empty box". Sure enough master destroyed did as he was told and hubby was very impressed.
So hubby bought the dog and took him home to the wife.
Wife said to the husband . Well since this dog as good as you say I have one request of him.
"master destroyer come mash up mi pussy"