Nuns While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened by the beer, wine andliquor section.One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answeredthat, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feeluncomfortable about purchasing it.The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem. Shepicked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had asurprised look so the nun said, "Can this be used for washing our hair."Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached across the counter andgrabbed a bag of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beersaying ..."The curlers are on me."

d Best Scottish Short Joke
A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"