Q, What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

Usually tears in your eyes but once in a while you get a nice piece of asss that brings tears to your eyes.

Still in mourning

Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten
out of her mourning stage.
Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Sherry says she'll go out, but doesn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it's an immediate hit. They really like one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the mountains. Their first night there, she undresses as he does. There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?"

She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore,
but down there I am still in mourning." Now he knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit...except that he has a black condom over his erection. She looks at him and asks, "What's with the...uh...black condom?"

He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences.

SEVEN TYPES OF FEMALE ORGASMS

1. Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes................
2. Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No....................
3. Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No....
4. Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming..........
5. Religious - Oh God, Oh God.........................
6. Greedy - Ahh, More, More, More.....................
7. Murderer - Ahh, if you take it out, I'll kill you...

Bell Four

A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife y'know sumpin, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station... Bell 1 rings - we
put on our jackets!

Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole!

Bell 3 rings - we jump on de ingine and we's ready to go!

From now on, when I says 'Bell One' me want you to strip naked. When I says Bell Two', you jump on de bed. When I says 'Bell Tree', we's gonna mek love all tru de night."

The next night he came home and shouted
Bell One' and she stripped naked.
Bell Two' and she jumped on the bed.
Bell Tree', and they started to make love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled out "Bell Four".
"An what de hell is 'Bell Four'?", the fireman yelled.
She replied "Roll out more hose, man, roll out more hose. You aint nowhere near de fire."